places of transformation

October 9, 2023

Once in a while, you'll find yourself again in places you've been before, in a similar situation you've experienced at another time of your life, but not entirely.

As per the post I published a few weeks ago, you'll always be in a new state; you'll never go back to old situations, as you have learned and grown from them and developed into a new version of yourself - a constant change.

In my case, there have been what I've been calling "places of transformation". I end up in repeated geographical locations pivotal for developing the next version of myself.

We could compare it to a cocoon - a caterpillar turning into its subsequent stage. 

Brazil, Switzerland and Australia - locations I revisit due to family connections. Places that act as hubs to digest information, gather learnings and make new plans for the next steps. 

I find myself again in one of these - Australia, visiting my sister, who has been based here for the past 11 years. The last time I was here was seven years ago. So much has changed since (a lot of the things in the city she lives in are the same, but I am certainly not, nor are the dynamics). 

(to give you a bit of context, the last time I was here, back in 2016, I was in a sturdy relationship, finding the apartment we would live in together and researching the Master course I would choose to study and a job for when returning to Switzerland. Switzerland felt like home. And now, I am a single, self-employed nomad preparing for an artistic project I am currently developing. Home is where I am, and my belongings are packed in a few suitcases.)

When revisiting places like this, I often have flashbacks of my last time there. You might know the feeling - when you visit your grandparents or a house you used to spend time with, you remember situations, moments, and exchanges. 

The same is happening to me here and has brought so much food for thought and reflection. Things I learned back then that I didn't quite understand suddenly make so much sense. 

The last time I was here, I was also in an in-between phase of my life, experiencing similar feelings as now- not knowing the next steps of my journey. Questioning what was, what is and what will be.

Interestingly enough, at that time, I dreamt about possibly, somewhere in the future, living from photography. I had no idea how, though. Now, seven years later, it seems I have reached what once was a dream. 

How powerful is it to look back and see the trajectory you have lived so far and acknowledge how far you have come?

This time, my stay here has been similar in the sense of a milestone to a new beginning but different from the reflections I have been doing. The exciting question that I’ll only be able to answer in a few years: will I again reach what I am now dreaming of?

My time here has been a contrast to my two months in Bali (where I was before coming here), where I could relate to the culture and was enjoying the lifestyle. I was living completely solo, following my routine as I pleased. Here, I am at another household, following their routine with small kids, where things are farther away, and my locomotion is limited. Thus, adaption has been essential. The first few days were more challenging, but now I'm slowly understanding this new moment and appreciating it rather than fighting against it.

In times like this, the connection with nature has shown to be of utter importance, to find clarity and peace of mind - to reflect on the emotions that have been happening inside and gain a fresh perspective to the inner world, finding stillness and bringing the mind back to the present moment. After all, that is all that is. 

The following steps are already somewhat planned, but it is an uncertain path that is entirely new for me. In three weeks from now, I'll be moving once more. The situation is unique even though it will occur in a (well-) known geographical location for me (Switzerland). I have butterflies in my stomach, with a sense of fear and excitement intertwining. Yet another adventure is to begin soon. Until then, I'll enjoy these standby weeks down under to replenish the energy that will be needed for the European winter to come. 

Switzerland, I'll be coming soon with fresh ideas to spice things up.