New Year's Eve
January 1, 2023
First things first 🤓 Happy New Year! (at least for those stemming from a similar culture to mine and who live the Gregorian calendar)
For the fortunate amongst us, the passage of years is often celebrated by many with a special meal, popping champagne bottles, parties, fireworks or at least some type of "being together and celebrating".
These "milestone" days (such as also Christmas, Birthdays, etc.) are usually expected to be spent accompanied by others - be it a partner, friends and/or family (or in the "best cases" a combination of all).
This year was at least the 3rd time I chose to spend NYE alone.
Yes, it was a choice.
And one I told nearly no one since it is otherwise most often accompanied with "Oh, you can join us!". I didn't want to.
Not because I don't enjoy the company of my friends or family. There were many options of dinners, parties, and get-togethers that I could have chosen to be part of with individuals I usually love hanging out with, but the plan that felt the most right at the moment was to spend quality time with myself.
2023 was a year full of movement, physically and emotionally, changing countries and homes, getting to know new people, immersing myself in various new cultures, experiencing feelings never felt before, and soaking in knowledge from different sources.
Since I arrived in Switzerland two months ago, I have felt like I haven't properly stopped.
Work and social life picked up extremely fast, and I had to actively occasionally squeeze in a few hours within the days to breathe and spend some time with myself. I haven't watched movies and barely gave myself time to read during this time. It got to a hectic pace that I wasn't stopping anymore - a challenge for an introvert who cherishes time alone.
My Garmin watch was already alarming me about the nights I slept poorly, and the words "maintaining" or "strained" were shown next to the time of the day. My watch read me well. That was indeed how I was feeling.
I promised myself I would take it slow between Christmas and NYE. However, social gatherings, work that still needed to be done and visiting friends I hadn't seen since my arrival suddenly occupied my days. I had put aside the one thing I needed - time for myself.
There was still much to digest from 2023 and reflections to be made about the upcoming year. Thus, my decision to use this time between years to do what I was craving: light up a candle, put some relaxing music on, prepare myself a warm-hearting beverage and soul food and reflect on what was, what is and what will be.
In the afternoon, I went for a walk in the woods, something I hadn't done since my arrival in Zurich two months ago.
The weather was s***, it was perfect.
I got soaked, and it was freezing when I started my walk back home. It all made coming home, having a warm shower, and putting on a lovely dress with warm socks even more special—my date with myself.
Waking up fresh this morning proved that I had made the right decision.
In moments like this, many suffer from FOMO - the Fear Of Missing Out. A night like NYE spent alone is a good portion of people a no-go (or perhaps not even an idea someone would have, as per the habit of always planning with others). Thus the rush, pressure or whatever you want to call it to do something, with someone, anything. Why be alone if you could be with someone?
Well, why is the opposite not true? Why be with someone if you could be alone?
I propose an even better approach: why not embrace being alone or together as per your current mood, and not just following expectations but listening to what YOU want or need?
A friend recently mentioned this new (at least new for me) jargon "JOMO "- the Joy Of Missing Out. I can relate to that more than the former.
I tend to go "against "the crowd. I enjoy staying in when everyone's out, and I usually enjoy going out when everyone's in 😂
In the last few years, Sundays have become my favourite day of the week, a day many dread as being "the one before Monday" - one many like even less. Mondays have become my second favourite day of the week.
I don't think my way of doing things is the right way. Nor am I saying that I disagree with other's ways of celebrating and living. I, too, sometimes party long hours and participate in big get-togethers to celebrate various occasions.
My point is more about feeling and embracing what makes sense for oneself in each moment, even if that sometimes means going against the flow of the majority or not responding to societal expectations but instead following your own personal flow. Whatever that might be. Without FOMO, embrace that which you need at all times.
More of that in 2024 🖤