NYC - revisiting the Big Apple
August 12, 2024
New York, New York, you are exactly how I remembered.
You are rigid and soft, crowded and calm, chaotic yet meticulously organised, rough and tender. The water mitigates the rush of your streets. The ample roads create tunnels for the wind to blow and bring a breeze amidst the concrete jungle.
In some places, tourists accumulate, while in others, between a few green trees, locals, who come from thousands of nationalities, gather to grab their black coffees, americanos, cappuccinos, or latte after having their matinal run before initiating the todos for the day.
...all the stories I would like to explore in this magnitude of personalities.
People without homes who choose to live in the streets, the sir sitting on the bench of the park leading an invisible orchestra (greeting the unseeable audience with blowing kisses in the air), the girl that just said goodbye to her lover, ONS date, boyfriend (?) without hesitation and no looking back; the lady with her impeccable dressing, a takeaway latte in her hand and Airpods in the ears rushing in the streets for her next meeting or the young adult exploring the city with a camera and a water bottle in his hand, stopping to admire all the scenes the city has to offer.
My head fills with questions and imaginary realities about their lives—who are they, what do they do, what are they reading, listening to, and thinking?
A jungle of humans, each with their unique styles, mixing and blending, but keeping their uniqueness in some special way while following lifestyle trends and belonging to clusters—the runners, the bikers, the yogis, the outlanders, the rebels, the tourists, the artists, the poets, the free spirits, entrepreneurs, CEOs…
Upper Manhattan, West Village, SoHo, NoHo, Chinatown, Little Italy, Brooklyn, Williamsburg..., The High Line, Chelsea Market, MoMa, Fotografiska, ICP, Met, Central Park, Time Square, World Trace Center, …— so much to explore.
Twelve years ago, Grand Central was my everyday routine—catching the 7 a.m. train from Connecticut to NYC for my summer internship at Saint Laurent—a reality that seems so distant as if pertaining to another lifetime, yet fragments of that period still remain in my interior.
The passion for connecting to strangers (in my own head with the stories created in my mind or entering into random conversations with people I never met again) and walking endlessly through the streets, getting in a flow as if absorbed by the here and now, by the observation aspect only and documenting it stays constant. Back in 2012, I acquired my first iPhone and started exploring Instagram. I remember it as if it was yesterday.
What started as an experiment has now become a method of expressing and sharing experiences—a way to release thoughts and observations and open myself to new opportunities.
The sounds, smells, feelings, and observations connect with a core of me that has always been there, sometimes more dormant than others. They remind me of my essence.
Here, earplugs are not needed. The sounds of the city and the observation of life as it is act as white noise, an opportunity to immerse in the moment entirely and contemplate life as it is—an action that acts as a meditation state in my reality.
Back then, I remember crying in the first few weeks of my internship - feeling entirely out of place, not relating to the high fashion industry and feeling misplaced culturally. I thought about quitting but decided to remain instead.
Things got better as time went by. And eventually, it started feeling good. I greeted the security sir with a smile, got confidence in initiating self-initiated projects, chit-chatted with the waiter at the local salad bar and exchanged with my peers about business. With time, things felt more comfortable.
Back then, I remember crying in the first few weeks of my internship - feeling entirely out of place, not relating to the high fashion industry and feeling misplaced culturally. I thought about quitting but decided to remain instead.
Looking back, much has changed, yet some tears and insecurities remain, not of not fitting in a job or lifestyle but of the internal questions of what will come next. A transformation process is put in place (yet again) - questionings, realignments, and the need for change come as it has come various times in the past years. Tears roll down as a mix of fear and relief for perhaps taking a route that is unknown for many, for opening myself up and being vulnerable to the unknown, to the opportunities not yet discovered, for bursting the bubbles and actually giving light to a room that has been dark for too long.
Tears for the butterflies in the stomach of the unknown, for walking in the opposite direction than the crowd and hoping that the certainty of that action will bring forward worlds yet to be discovered—just like a sailor initiating a journey, following a certain direction but without the certainty of when and if the land on the other side will eventually appear.
This is all to say thank you, NYC, for another opportunity of growth, a fresh perspective, discovery, inspiration, and realisation—that, despite the tears and fears, this path hasn’t felt as sure as now, even though the destination hasn’t yet been defined (will it ever?).
The quest is what life is all about, after all, is it not?
(all images were taken with the phone)
