Valentine's Day
February 14, 2020
In this (what became a commercial) day, where love birds buy flowers, gifts and express their love and admiration to their partners (something that in my opinion should happen sporadically, when it feels right, not on days set by society. But anyway, continuing...🙈), it brought me to think about love in general.
What is love exactly? And why does it seem so much easier to express love to others rather than to ourselves? Aren’t we the only ones that can promise ourselves a “happily ever after”? Aren’t we the ones responsible for our own happiness?
During the past two years, I have been questioning a lot (amongst many other topics) the whole meaning of traditional models of relationship. Are they really the best way to go? We tend to get stuck to what is told to us and society expects from us, that we forget to question what we’ve learned. Which other solutions are there and what suits oneself best? We should stop comparing, and look more often inwards (don’t get me wrong, talking to others, getting insights, getting inspired, exchanging experiences is a must, but the final decision of what works for you, should be decided by you).
The more I talk to people, the more it becomes clear to me that the Nr. 1 problem in relationships is (the lack of proper) communication.
You will never know 100% what I have been through, my traumas, my fears, how and what I think, what I feel. And the same applies the other way around. I can ask you and hope that you will give me an honest answer. But even then, my personal filters on your answers will automatically apply. I feel that, if we managed to drop these filters, become vulnerable and talked openly about our honest thoughts and feeling, relationships would be so much easier. Not necessarily less emotional or challenging at times, but in the sense of becoming more accepting, acknowledging and respecting each other. Isn’t that what love is all about after all? Accepting and respecting oneself and the other just as we are.
It’s only with transparent communication that we can understand each other better. And that is applicable not only for romantic relationships, but also for friendships, family, work, or any kind of relationship you have with another individual really…
In this Valentine’s Day, why not start loving ourselves first, understand our flaws, be vulnerable, to then open the wires and start communicating, understanding and loving others?
With love,
a mind that never ceases