what makes us change?
December 9, 2025
We’ve all heard it: the only constant in life is change. Sometimes it arrives quietly, shaped by the small routines and happenings of daily life. Other times, it crashes in - born from an overwhelming internal need to shift, reset, and build new realities.
Not long ago, during a dinner with friends, the topic of change came up. And immediately a phrase resurfaced in my mind: “Change only happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.”
The insight was introduced to me back in 2020, a year when my life tilted 180 degrees - the beginning of dismantling everything I thought I knew: the pre-conditioned structures around work, home, relationships, opportunities…
Change can be unsettling - unpredictable, unreliable, and full of unknowns. And the unknown, by nature, creates unease. But change can also be energising, hopeful, something to anticipate. Like most things, it exists in duality. And what it becomes often depends on how we choose to see it (easier said than done, but possible).
For change to take shape, something in our lives must shift - be adjusted, replaced, or released - to make room for something new: people, places, jobs, circumstances...
Imagine a fully furnished home. If you want a new table or a different colour for your walls, something has to move. Furniture must be rearranged, removed, or reconsidered. One alteration subtly influences the whole room - the butterfly effect.
But unlike redecorating, the actual consequences of change aren’t measurable in advance. And often, there’s no going back to what was before (at least not in the exact same state as it was before).
These unknowns are what hold most of us back. Yet they’re also what propel those who step into change anyway.
Fear can act as a handbrake - or a catalyst. The question is whether we choose to stay in the familiar, trying to fit everything into an already full space, cramping what no longer makes sense, or whether we risk stepping into the unanswered, readjusting and stepping out of the “what would have been if?” consideration.
When I’m torn between two directions, I try to sort what comes from fear, what comes from reason, and what rises from intuition or curiosity. The lines are almost always blurred. But fear - fear is usually the easiest to locate. Then comes the real question: how much of that fear is an actual threat, and how much is simply the discomfort of not knowing? How can I mitigate it and lessen its power to continue moving?
Why do we fear letting go? Why do we fear beginnings just as much as endings? Why do honest conversations - both with ourselves and with others - feel so daunting? Aren’t these the very foundations of being human?
After all, change is the only constant there is…
With only three weeks away from the year-end and a new cycle starting soon - an opportunity to reflect:
Is there anything you would like to welcome in?
What are you willing to let go?
Which shifts must occur for change to happen?
(a lot of questions to which I’d love to hear your learnings, thoughts and insights).
With love,
Maja
*In 2019, we explored this theme through a collective exhibition titled “A Place Formerly Unsuspected.” You can read more about it here. Below is one of the images of the project, featuring the Mexican dancer & choreographer, Liliana Torres.